TED演讲 | 真正限制你变强大的，是自己内心的不安全感！

演讲者：Kip Hollister

演讲题目：如何摆脱不安全感？

I have a question. By a show of hands, how many of you feel good about yourself?I have asked this question in front of thousands, and less than 10% raised their hand. Welcome to being human.

我有个问题。通过举手，你们中有多少人对自己感觉良好？我在成千上万的人面前问过这个问题，不到10%的人举手。恭喜，人都是这样的。

We all struggle with insecurities, and these insecurities can really hold us back from being engaged in our life. And I’ve always believed that to feel really good about ourselves, it’s important as I call it to be lit up in life. It’s important to connect with our passion and our purpose.

我们都在与不安全作斗争，这些不安全感确实能阻止我们参与我们的生活。我一直认为，要对自己感觉良好，这是很重要的，因为我称之为生命中的光明。与我们的激情和目标联系起来很重要。

For the past three decades, I have been running a really successful staffing organization. We get people jobs. And this concept of being passionate in life is one that I have brought into the fabric of my organization.

在过去的三十年里，我一直在经营一个非常成功的人员配置组织。我们找人工作。而这种充满激情的生活理念，是我把它带入组织结构中的一个概念。

I am really committed to my staff being lit up. I want them feeling good about themselves and to feel as if they are contributing.

我真的很致力于我的员工们被点燃。我希望他们对自己感觉良好，感觉好像他们在贡献。

So at the core of my being, I’m really shy and I’m an introvert more than an extrovert. And I’m very familiar with these feelings of insecurity.

所以在我的核心，我真的很害羞，我是一个内向的，而不是外向的。我对这些不安全感很熟悉。

I want to share with you my story today and how I moved through my insecurities and tapped into that passion and purpose. So you can do the same.

我想和大家分享我今天的故事，以及我是如何度过我的不安全感，并挖掘出激情和目标的。所以你也可以这么做。

I started to not feel good about myself when I was a kid. I was four of five children, and one of my sister’s was 18 months older than me. And I constantly was comparing myself to her. I felt like she was prettier and more popular and thinner than me.

我小时候不太自信。我五个孩子中有四个，我姐姐的一个比我大18个月。我一直在和她比较。我觉得她比我漂亮，更受欢迎，更瘦。

To make matters worse, I, in the fourth grade, was put in the lowest level reading group, low-grade group. You can imagine what that made me feel. That’s the first time that I heard this negative chatter going on in my head.

更糟的是，我四年级被分为低年级阅读组。你可以想象那让我感觉到什么。这是我第一次听到这种负面的谈话在我的脑海里发生。

It was this judge, it was this judge or this critique saying, I am not worthy… I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough. We all hear that chatter, right? Sometimes it’s louder than others.

是这个法官，是这个法官，或者是这个批评说，我不配……我不够好，我不够聪明。我们都听到了那些闲言碎语，对吧？有时声音比别人大。

In fact, humor me and close your eyes for a minute. And I just want to ask you: how are you feeling about yourself?

事实上，有点意思，闭上你的眼睛一分钟。我只想问你：你对自己感觉如何？

Open your eyes. So were you judging? Were you self-doubting? Were you criticizing?Did you feel awesome? Did you feel connected? Those are the thoughts constantly running through us.

睁开你的眼睛。你是在评判吗？你在怀疑自己吗？你在批评吗？你觉得很棒吗？你觉得有联系吗？这些都是不断在我们身上流淌的思想。

And I learned that there are over 70,000 thoughts that run through our head on a daily basis. And 80% of them are negative. 80%! Think about it.

我了解到每天有超过70000个想法在我们的大脑中运行。其中80%为负面的。80%! 好好想想。

As a kid, I really struggled and tried to figure out what to do with these thoughts. As a Presbyterian minister’s child, I went to Hebrew school and catechism with my friends, all to search for meaning. I was lonely.

作为一个孩子，我真的很挣扎，并试图找出如何处理这些想法。作为一个长老会牧师的孩子，我去了希伯来学校和我的朋友们的问答，都是为了寻找意义。我很孤独。

And then I was searching and moving through high school and college and still searching for this meaning of life, really out not fitting in. And my family thought for sure I would join a cult.

然后我在高中和大学里寻找，继续寻找生命的意义，真的不适合。我的家人确信我会加入一个邪教。

My first job in Boston, I met a mentor who introduced me to this ancient tradition: meditation. And it was through this experience of meditation that I connected with my inner self. And I had this huge epiphany.

我在波士顿的第一份工作，我遇到了一位导师，他向我介绍了这个古老的传统：冥想。正是通过这种冥想的体验，我与我的内在自我建立了联系。我顿悟了。

Here’s what I learned. I learned that oh, my gosh, this negative chatter going on in my mind is not real. These limiting beliefs are not real; it’s made up. And all of a sudden, I felt like that’s what had held me back in my life so far.

这是我学到的。我明白了哦，天哪，我脑子里这种消极的声音不是真的。这些有限的信念是不真实的；这是编造的。突然间，我觉得这就是迄今为止阻碍我生活的原因。

It’s as if I had a speed limit on my life. Who wants to go 45 miles an hour? And once I discovered this, I started to practice more and more. And then I started to thrive in my job. And I was in sales and I was on fire. Why? Because I started feel good about myself. I had confidence.

就好像我的生活有一个速度限制。谁想每小时跑45英里？一旦我发现了这一点，我就开始越来越多地练习。然后我开始在工作中茁壮成长。我是做销售的，我很火。为什么？因为我开始自我感觉良好。我有信心。

And then when I was 26, with this new sense of confidence and belief in myself, somehow I had the courage to open up my own company. And we started to thrive. Why? Because I was passionate about what I did.

当我26岁的时候，我对自己有了新的信心和信念，不知怎的，我有勇气开了自己的公司。我们开始茁壮成长。为什么？因为我对我所做的事充满激情。

And I was also committed to helping others be passionate about what they did. So I wanted to find someone the dream job and I also wanted to have people come into my company that wanted to help create a culture that was lit up.

我也致力于帮助别人对他们所做的事充满热情。所以我想找一个理想的工作，我也希望有人进入我的公司，希望帮助创造一个文化，点燃激情。

Through two recessions — I got through those two recessions practicing meditation. I had this laser focus, so I was able to let go of all of the external stimuli and circumstances and stay centered. And this was a really great gift. And this company grew over the next two decades.

通过两次衰退-我通过这两次衰退练习冥想。我有这种激光聚焦，所以我能够摆脱所有的外部刺激和环境，保持集中。这真是一份很棒的礼物。这家公司在接下来的二十年里不断发展壮大。

And then the third recession hit. And when the third recession hit, for whatever reason I had trouble going inward and practicing what I knew worked and instead I panicked. And I felt like I have to fix things.

第三次经济衰退来袭。当第三次经济衰退来临时，无论出于什么原因，我都很难深入内心，实践我所知道的有用的东西，结果我惊慌失措。我觉得我必须解决问题。

And I was living on four and five hours of sleep, and my cell phone was on 24/7 and I was on it. And I was absolutely exhausted.

我靠四到五个小时的睡眠生活，我的手机是全天候在线，我一直在用。我已经筋疲力尽了。

And in this time, there was no meditation experience other than what I call that drive by experience, introspection on the go. So I was totally submerged in being a CEO, a wife and a mother to four wonderful children.

在这段时间里，除了我所说的驾车体验，在旅途中的自省之外，没有其他的冥想体验。所以我完全沉浸在做一个CEO，一个妻子和四个好孩子的母亲中。

And I imploded and I knew, I said things have to change: what do I do. And so it was one day when I was driving home, 45-minute drive home from work, and I realized I didn’t know what route I had taken. I had no clue.

我崩溃了，我知道，我说事情必须改变：我该怎么做。所以有一天我开车回家，下班后开车45分钟回家，我意识到我不知道自己走的是哪条路。我不知道。

And this is when I said to myself: you got to change; things have to change. I was not passionate, I was lonely, and I was lost.

这时我对自己说：你必须改变；事情必须改变。我没有激情，我孤独，我迷失了方向。

So what I did is I said I have to do something. I started to go inside and this another thing that happened in this time is that these limiting beliefs kicked in. And I started to say to myself, I’m not a good leader. I’m not good enough. I am not worthy.

所以我说我必须做点什么。我开始往里面走，这段时间发生的另一件事是，这些限制性的信仰开始了。我开始对自己说，我不是个好领导。我不够好。我不配。

And then I knew that I had turn inward for self-reflection. It was not an easy process, and I had to get quiet again. Because I remembered that this is what had gotten me to this point so far.

然后我知道我必须向内去反省。这不是一个容易的过程，我不得不再次安静下来。因为我记得这就是我到目前为止走到这一步的原因。

So I took time and here’s what quiet looks like. Quiet is sitting with no cell phone even in the room, no TV, no papers, no people, no distractions. And I started to meditate again.

所以我花了点时间，这里是安静的样子。安静就是坐着没有手机，甚至在房间里，没有电视，没有文件，没有人，没有分心。我又开始冥想了。

And in meditation, I discovered, wow, when we’re so stressed out, why do we give up on taking care of ourselves? What why does that happen?

在冥想中，我发现，哇，当我们压力太大的时候，为什么我们要放弃照顾自己？为什么会这样？

And I became centered again. I became focused again. And this experience was so enriching for me. So I wanted to make this experience permanent. I wanted this change to be permanent in me.

我又集中精神了。我又集中精神了。这段经历让我很充实。所以我想让这段经历永久化。我希望这种改变在我身上是永久的。

So I knew what to do. I said I have to just set this vision and commit to it and stick to it and take action. Now this realization was both exhilarating and terrifying.

所以我知道该怎么办。我说过，我必须树立这个愿景，致力于它，坚持它，并采取行动。现在这种认识既令人兴奋又令人恐惧。

First step, I went into my VP of Finance and I said we will be building a huge meditation room. Can you imagine his look? Oh boy! I said I am committed. I want my staff to be able to have a space where they can self reflect so that they don’t spiral down the way I did.

第一步，我走进了财务副总裁办公室，我说我们将建立一个巨大的冥想室。你能想象他的样子吗？哦，孩子！我说了我是忠诚的。我希望我的员工能够有一个自我反省的空间，这样他们就不会像我那样螺旋式下降。

And furthermore I want to teach them, I want to teach them how to recognize those limiting thoughts and limiting beliefs so that they can learn self-awareness and be more productive, successful, and happy in life.

此外，我想教他们，我想教他们如何认识那些有限的思想和有限的信念，这样他们就能学会自我意识，在生活中更有成效，更成功，更快乐。

And then I thought what if I took this a step further. What if I went out into the community with this?

然后我想，如果我再进一步。如果我带着这个去社区呢？

So I got really excited about this. I had the vision of opening up and release our limiting beliefs. And I shared this with my leadership team, my board of advisors and my friends and family.

所以我真的很兴奋。我有一个开放的愿景，释放我们有限的信仰。我和我的领导团队，顾问委员会，朋友和家人分享了这一点。

And things didn’t go as I planned. I got shut down. It isn’t the time for this. Boston is not ready for this. You’ll jeopardize your brand. You will ruin your company. I was devastated. I could not imagine how connected I was with my passion and purpose.

事情没有我计划的那样顺利。我的想法被毙了。现在不是时候了。波士顿还没有准备好。你会危及你的品牌。你会毁了你的公司。我很伤心。我无法想象我与我的激情和目标有多大的联系。

And I felt so shut down and I knew I could make an impact on the community. So I had to go inside again. And I self reflected and here’s what I did.

我觉得自己被打击到了，我知道我可以对社区产生影响。所以我不得不再进去。我自我反省，我做了些什么。

I said to myself, you know what, these voices that I’m hearing have clicked in again, because the roaring lion of my limiting beliefs just loved what those people were saying to me. And I had to usher that to the side and stay focused and listen to my intuition, because my intuition always tells me the truth. And so the Institute would become a reality.

我对自己说，你知道吗，我听到的这些声音再次响起，因为我有限信仰的咆哮狮子喜欢那些人对我说的话。我必须把它引到一边，保持专注，倾听我的直觉，因为我的直觉总是告诉我真相。因此，研究所将成为现实。

So I went back to my leadership team and I said we’re making this a go. We’re moving forward, because if I don’t move forward I will live to regret it. To which they said they were on board, and that was three years ago.

所以我回到我的领导团队，我说我们正在努力。我们在前进，因为如果我不前进，我会后悔的。他们说他们在船上，那是三年前的事了。

Since that time we’ve trained over 500 people and we have connected people through mindfulness and teaching emotional intelligence so that they are released — they are released and they can live more limitless lives.

从那时起，我们已经训练了500多人，我们通过正念和传授情商把他们联系起来，这样他们就可以得到释放——他们被释放了，他们可以过上更加无限的生活。

So I ask you: what are you passionate about? And is there anything that’s holding you back? And if so, what price are you paying emotionally, physically, spiritually?

所以我问你：你热衷于什么？有什么阻碍你的吗？如果是的话，你在情感上，身体上，精神上付出了什么代价？

These are challenging times for many. I wonder what it would be like if you were able to acknowledge those negative thoughts and let them go and then turn the volume and the noise down on your limiting beliefs, what would open up for you and what would be possible? Unlimited possibilities. No speed limit.

对许多人来说，这是一个充满挑战的时代。我想知道如果你能够承认那些消极的想法，让它们过去，然后把音量和噪音调低到你有限的信念上，那会是什么样子，会为你打开什么，什么是可能的？无限的可能性。没有速度限制。

I encourage you to take time out every day for self-reflection. Even if it’s 10 minutes a day it can make a world of difference. And this is where you can connect with your inner self so that you can define and understand your passion so that you’re able to make the right decision for whatever you want in your life.

我鼓励你每天抽出时间自我反省。即使是每天10分钟，也能改变世界。在这里，你可以与你的内在自我联系，这样你就可以定义和理解你的激情，这样你就能够为你生活中想要的一切做出正确的决定。

I am living the most lit up life I have ever had in years. And I’d like the same for you. Thanks.

我过着多年来最光明的生活。我也要同样的给你。谢谢。

Remark：一切权益归TED所有，更多TED相关信息可至官网www.ted.com查询！

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