国外也有段子手：瓜瓜发型，越来越流行？

小伙伴们大家好，欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”！上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，曼城点球大战胜利物浦，夺得社区盾杯冠军；巴萨逆转阿森纳，多特战胜拜仁，巴黎战胜雷恩；阿森纳壕掷8000万签下尼克拉斯-佩佩，而贝尔则很可能留在皇马。好了，话不多说，让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧！

布拉沃扑点，曼城点胜利物浦夺社区盾杯

varro-reatinus(阿森纳球迷)：曼城是要遵守一个光头守恒定律吗？孔帕尼刚走，就把沃克给剃秃了…(Does City had a baldness quota to maintain or something? Kompany leaves; they forcibly shave Walker?)

Sesnf(未知主队球迷)：下个就是萨内，怪不得他要回德国呢！(Sane’s next, that’s why he’s trying to fuck off to Germany.)

Soger7(曼城球迷)：考虑到他的年龄，萨巴莱塔这个门线解围真的是彰显了他的体育精神！(Considering his age, that goal line clearance was a great show of athleticism from Zabaleta.)

TesMgsFan(皇马球迷)：我还以为那是瓜迪奥拉呢！(I thought is was guardiola.)

BabluBhaiya(曼联球迷)：这解围有少林足球的水准哦！(That was some Shaolin Soccer level amazing shit !!!)

DeathbedHandjob(英格兰球迷)：如果是菲尔-琼斯，可能这球就踢到脸上再反弹入网了…(Phil Jones hits that off his face and back into goal.)

Tcariappa(利物浦球迷)：我们能把点球大战换成打乒乓球决胜么，我们利物浦还是准备了的…(Can we replace penalty shootouts with a table tennis match... Liverpool is prepped.)

Californiabayy(曼城球迷)：呵呵，我们可是刚从中国回来的！(Well, we just came back from China you know.)

苏牙绝杀，巴萨2-1逆转阿森纳

404randomguy404(曼联球迷)：想象一下当看到穆斯塔菲上场了，巴萨球员都在想：“兄弟们，咱能赢球啦！”(I imagine the Barca squad thinking to themselves when seeing Mustafi coming on - "We've got the win now boys.")

SaintPhoeniix(曼联球迷)：我是个业余的古生物学家，我认定穆斯塔菲真是遗臭万年了！(I'm an amateur paleontologist and I think Mustafi is bloody awful.)

ArcaniteRipper(阿森纳球迷)：穆斯塔菲刚上场，巴萨就进球，超级替补实锤了！(Mustafi comes on and Barca scores. Super sub confirmed.)

FatWalcott(阿森纳球迷)：未来的买家们，看到这些可别忘了穆斯塔菲也是世界杯冠军的事实啊！(Prospective buyers, do not let this distract you from the fact the Mustafi is a World Cup winner.)

baws19(未知主队球迷)：成也慕斯，败也慕斯。(Mustafi giveth, Mustafi taketh.)

Deepinsideher(未知主队球迷)：他成过吗？(What did he give?)

mannyrios_97(皇马球迷)：穆斯塔菲是豪门里最差的中卫吗？(Is Mustafi the worst centerback playing at a top level club in the world?)

Carefaultww(阿森纳球迷)：不，因为我们并不是豪门。(No, because we are not a top level club.)

jags85(未知主队球迷)：阿森纳就喜欢把球传进球门，即使是自己的球门也不例外。(the thing about Arsenal is they like to pass it into the back of the net. Even their own net.)

sleepygamer92(阿森纳球迷)：阿森纳不知道下半场比赛要射向另一边吗？(Does Arsenal know this is the second half and they have to shoot the otherside?)

壕掷8000万！阿森纳签下佩佩

OnsenCannonball(阿森纳球迷)：万万没想到，我厂竟然像曼城一样砸钱买一个球员…(Never thought I’d see the day where Arsenal drop City money on a player.)

fatalInjury(曼城球迷)：曼城并没有买过这么贵的球员。(We don’t have such an expensive player tbf.)

Eddydoubled(阿森纳球迷)：握日哦，我们这赛季要进200球并且丢199球啦？(Holy shit! We are going to score 200 goals this season! And concede 199.)

BambooSound(阿森纳球迷)：还都是在联赛杯踢雷丁的一场比赛里进的…(All vs Reading in the Carabao Cup.)

Lomogasm(阿森纳球迷)：能每场比赛都赢10-9的话，我也是很开心的。(IM SO HAPPY WE’RE GONNA WIN EVERY GAME 10-9.)

paraboot_allen(未知主队球迷)：如果能把穆斯塔菲送到摩纳哥，说不定就能赢10-8了！(It will be 10-8 once we ship Mustafi to Monaco.)

EmperorTMing(切尔西球迷)：上半身魔山，下半身布兰…(Upper body of the Mountain with the legs of Bran.)

vedrac0305(热刺球迷)：前场是法拉利，后场是90年代的老丰田…(Ferrari in attack, 90s toyota corolla in the back.)

Massdev(未知主队球迷)：埃梅里：“我们的钱只能租借…”下一秒：“来啊，八千万买佩佩！”(Unai “We can only do loan signings”. “80 million for Pepe”)

jamemh 19 points(阿森纳球迷)：下赛季所有的强队都宣称只有4500万预算了…(Next season all the top clubs are gonna be reporting a "45m" budget.)

帕科桑乔进球，多特2-0拜仁

soupdahero(拜仁球迷)：看来需要让罗本和里贝里退役再复出了...(might need to get robben and ribery out of retirement.)

_ronty12_(利物浦球迷)：这是一场胡梅尔斯没上场的胡梅尔斯德比。(The Hummels derby without Hummels.)

firecracker123(拜仁球迷)：基米西成为了梅西，负责进球前还得先去防守…(Kimmich being Messi and realising he is actually a defender before finishing ffs...)

Vio0(多特球迷)：科瓦奇还在试图把拜仁转变成自己当年的法兰克福呢！(Kovac still trying to turn Bayern into his Frankfurt side.)

Writelikeme(巴萨球迷)：曼城又得给萨内涨价1000万了…(City tack on another €10 million to Sane's price...)

图：2054年，萨内仍在考虑转会拜仁的事

randomguyoninternet4(未知主队球迷)：蒂亚戈这踢得就像是坐在轮椅上的607岁老头一样。(Thiago playing like a 607 year old on a wheelchair.)

Paxan(多特球迷)：桑乔是志在打破转会纪录啦！(Sancho is aiming for the transfer fee record.)

逆转夺冠，巴黎2-1雷恩

ElMolason(西班牙球迷)：姆巴佩的位置不就是内马尔曾经踢的吗，新的阴影要到来了？(Mbappe is playing where Neymar is usually playing... Foreshadowing?)

转会受阻，贝尔很可能留队

IGuessIRanOutOfChara(阿森纳球迷)：如果有谁要阻止我一周挣100万镑，那我还不得气死…(I mean, if someone had just prevented me from earning 1m-a-week, I'd be pretty pissed as well.)

Brendy25(切尔西球迷)：更别说还有教练巴不得你走，而俱乐部高层却不放人…(Not to mention if a manager wanted you to leave aswell, but the board blocked it.)

Tarp96(阿森纳球迷)：别啊，贝尔如果留在皇马，每周就只能挣可怜的60万，太悲剧了！(Oh no, he has to stay in Madrid and earn measly 600k per week, what a tragedy.)

ItalianTacticz(皇马球迷)：是啊，现在每周也就只能买两辆宾利欧陆而已…(yeah so then now he can only buy 2 Bentley Continental's a week smh.)

好了，亲爱的小伙伴们，本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。让我们拭目以待，来看下期歪果仁更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧！（本文转自懂球帝，如侵权请联系删除）