雅思写作7.5

雅思写作｜20组6分与7.5分的表达对比（含分析）

1

6分：Many people think that studying at university can help them get a good job in the future.

原因：句式简单，表达直接，词汇普通（“think”, “good job”），没有使用任何复杂结构或词汇。

7.5分：It is widely believed that pursuing higher education significantly enhances one’s prospects of securing a desirable career.

高级点：使用被动语态（It is widely believed），更正式；“pursuing higher education”替代“studying at university”；词汇更精准（“significantly enhances”, “prospects”, “desirable career”）。

2

6分：Some people say that children should learn from a young age how to use computers.

原因：句式结构简单，“some people say”是常见开头；表达缺乏细节或专业词汇。

7.5分：There is a growing consensus that early exposure to computer skills is essential for children’s development in the digital era.

高级点：使用短语“growing consensus”代替“some people say”；“early exposure to computer skills”更准确；“essential for... development”结构正式，且加上背景“digital era”。

3

6分：Pollution is a big problem in cities because of many cars and factories.

原因：词汇简单，“big problem”，“many cars and factories”缺乏准确描述。

7.5分：Urban pollution, primarily driven by vehicular emissions and industrial activities, poses a severe threat to public health and the environment.

高级点：具体术语“vehicular emissions”，“industrial activities”；句式更复杂，加入状语“primarily driven by”；使用“poses a severe threat”表达更强烈且正式。

4

6分：It is good for people to take part in sports because it helps them stay healthy.

原因：句子结构单一且用词重复，“good”, “helps them stay healthy”表达平淡。

7.5分：Engaging regularly in physical activities not only promotes physical fitness but also contributes to mental well-being.

高级点：使用动名词短语“Engaging regularly in physical activities”；句式多样化（not only... but also...）；词汇更丰富且专业。

5

6分：Many people believe that using public transport is better than driving a car.

原因：表达口语化，词汇简单，“better than driving a car”缺乏深度。

7.5分：An increasing number of individuals advocate for public transportation as a more sustainable and efficient alternative to private vehicles.

高级点：“An increasing number of individuals advocate for”正式且学术；使用“sustainable and efficient alternative”增加表达深度和说服力。

6

6分：Some people think that the government should spend more money on education than on building roads.

原因：句式常见且直白，“spend more money”重复简单词汇。

7.5分：It is argued that allocating greater financial resources to the education sector rather than infrastructure projects could yield long-term societal benefits.

高级点：使用被动语态“It is argued that”；“allocating greater financial resources”正式表达资金分配；“yield long-term societal benefits”表达清晰且学术。

7

6分：Technology has changed the way people communicate with each other.

原因：用词和句型基础，“has changed the way”普通表达。

7.5分：Technological advancements have fundamentally transformed interpersonal communication, bridging distances and facilitating instant interaction.

高级点：“Technological advancements”高级名词短语；“fundamentally transformed”替换“changed”；加入了修饰语“bridging distances and facilitating instant interaction”，句式丰富。

8

6分：People like to live in cities because there are more jobs and entertainment.

原因：句子简短，词汇简单，表达直接。

7.5分：Urban living attracts many due to its abundant employment opportunities and diverse cultural and recreational offerings.

高级点：“Urban living attracts many”表达更地道；用“abundant employment opportunities”替代“more jobs”；“diverse cultural and recreational offerings”丰富了表达内容。

9

6分：Some people say that children should spend more time playing outside instead of using electronic devices.

原因：句式和词汇平淡，“say that”, “spend more time”普遍表达。

7.5分：Many advocate for children to engage more frequently in outdoor activities to counterbalance the excessive screen time associated with electronic gadgets.

高级点：使用“Many advocate for”更正式；“engage more frequently in outdoor activities”表达更准确；“counterbalance the excessive screen time”增加了因果逻辑和复杂性。

10

6分：Reading books can help people learn new things and improve their knowledge.

原因：表达重复，“help people learn new things”简单口语。

7.5分：Reading extensively is an effective way to acquire new information and broaden one’s intellectual horizons.

高级点：“Reading extensively”具体且准确；“acquire new information”正式用词；“broaden intellectual horizons”提升表达高度。

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11

6分：Some people believe that the internet has made life easier for everyone.

缘由：句型基础，词汇重复且一般（“made life easier”）；表达缺少细节和深度。

7.5分：It is widely accepted that the internet has revolutionized daily life by providing unprecedented access to information and services.

亮点：被动结构更正式（“It is widely accepted”），动词“revolutionized”更强烈且准确，细节丰富。

12

6分：Many people travel to other countries to learn about different cultures.

缘由：表达简单直接，缺少复杂句式和丰富词汇（“travel to other countries”，“learn about”普通搭配）。

7.5分：International travel offers invaluable opportunities to immerse oneself in diverse cultures and broaden one’s global perspective.

亮点：使用了名词短语“invaluable opportunities”，动词“immerse oneself”更高级，表达更加正式生动。

13

6分：Some people think that children should study a foreign language from an early age.

缘由：用词和句式普通，缺少因果关系和具体细节。

7.5分：Early foreign language education is considered crucial for cognitive development and enhancing future career prospects.

亮点：更正式的主语“Early foreign language education”，用词精准，“cognitive development”和“career prospects”显得专业。

14

6分：Many people like to watch movies for entertainment after work or school.

缘由：结构单一，缺少论证深度，词汇重复。

7.5分：Watching films is a popular leisure activity that helps individuals unwind and escape from daily stress.

亮点：引入“popular leisure activity”，表达目的“unwind and escape from daily stress”，更丰富和自然。

15

6分：The government should do more to protect the environment from pollution.

缘由：句式简单，词汇平淡，缺少理由和结果的衔接。

7.5分：Governments must implement stringent policies to mitigate environmental degradation and safeguard natural resources.

亮点：使用“implement stringent policies”表达具体行动，更学术，动词“mitigate”和“safeguard”用词高级。

16

6分：Some people believe that children should help with household chores to learn responsibility.

缘由：表达直接，句型简单，缺少修饰词和多样表达。

7.5分：Encouraging children to participate in household tasks fosters a sense of responsibility and practical life skills.

亮点：更正式且有说服力的表达，“Encouraging... fosters”，增加了“practical life skills”。

17

6分：Many people like to eat fast food because it is quick and convenient.

缘由：表达平淡，句式和词汇缺乏变化。

7.5分：The popularity of fast food stems from its convenience and the fast-paced lifestyles prevalent in modern society.

亮点：更学术的因果表达，“stems from”，“fast-paced lifestyles”丰富语义。

18

6分：Some people think that sports stars should be good role models for young people.

缘由：句子结构简单，缺少修饰和具体细节。

7.5分：It is widely expected that athletes serve as positive role models, inspiring youth through their dedication and discipline.

亮点：更正式结构，“It is widely expected that...”，动词“serve as”，加入具体行为“inspiring youth”。

19

6分：Many people prefer to live in small towns because they are quieter and safer.

缘由：表达简单，句式和词汇缺少变化。

7.5分：Small towns appeal to many due to their tranquil environment and lower crime rates compared to bustling cities.

亮点：用更生动的词汇“tranquil environment”，对比“lower crime rates”和“bustling cities”，句子更具体丰富。

20

6分：Some people believe that learning history is important to understand the present.

缘由：句式平直，表达缺少深度和逻辑衔接。

7.5分：Studying history is essential for comprehending contemporary society and avoiding the repetition of past mistakes.

亮点：用词精准“comprehending contemporary society”，表达目的更具体，“avoiding repetition”带有警示色彩。