TED学院 | 适应不适感，这是进步的征兆|with|fear|truth|骨牌|falling

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演讲者：Luvvie Ajayi Jones

演讲题目：Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

I'm a professional troublemaker.

我是个专业的麻烦制造机。

As my job is to critique the world, the shoddy systems and the people who refuse to do better, as a writer, as a speaker, as a shady Nigerian --

因为我的工作就是批判世界，批判劣质的系统与不求上进的人，作为一名作家、演讲家以及一名“臭名昭著”的尼日利亚人——

I feel like my purpose is to be this cat.

我觉得我的工作就和图中这只猫差不多。（图片：自认清高的艺术家）

I am the person who is looking at other people, like, "I need you to fix it." That is me. I want us to leave this world better than we found it. And how I choose to effect change is by speaking up, by being the first and by being the domino.

我就是那种挑剔别人生活的人，总想着“我需要你改一改。”这就是我。我希望我们可以让这个世界变得更好。我选择改变世界的方式是畅所欲言，通过当第一张多米诺骨牌。

For a line of dominoes to fall, one has to fall first, which then leaves the other choiceless to do the same. And that domino that falls, we're hoping that, OK, the next person that sees this is inspired to be a domino.

为了让一排骨牌倒下，必须有一个先倒下，剩下的骨牌别无选择，就会跟着倒下。有了那张倒下的骨牌，我们希望下个看到这个情况的人会被激励，也成为一张骨牌。

Being the domino, for me, looks like speaking up and doing the things that are really difficult, especially when they are needed, with the hope that others will follow suit. And here's the thing: I'm the person who says what you might be thinking but dared not to say.

对我而言，作为骨牌就要公开表态，就要迎难而上，特别是当人们需要有人挺身而出的时候，希望其他人也能效仿。此外还有一点：我就是那种会说出想说但不敢说的话的人。

A lot of times people think that we're fearless, the people who do this, we're fearless. We're not fearless. We're not unafraid of the consequences or the sacrifices that we have to make by speaking truth to power. What happens is, we feel like we have to, because there are too few people in the world willing to be the domino, too few people willing to take that fall. We're not doing it without fear.

人们经常会觉得我们这种人是无所畏惧的，做这种事的人是无所畏惧的。我们并不是无所畏惧。我们并不是不怕这些后果，也不是不惧怕宣扬真理后的牺牲。事实上，我们觉得这是我们的义务，因为在这个世界愿意当骨牌的人太少，鲜有人愿意第一个倒下。我们这么做不是不会恐惧。

Now, let's talk about fear. I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was like, "I'm going to be a doctor!" Doctor Luvvie was the dream. I was Doc McStuffins before it was a thing.

现在，我们讲一讲恐惧。我曾经很清楚长大后想做什么，“我要成为一位医生!”当上医生是我曾经的梦想，在《小医师大玩偶》流行起来之前我就在扮演医师。

And I remember when I went to college, my freshman year, I had to take Chemistry 101 for my premed major. I got the first and last D of my academic career.

我记得我上大学的时候，我大一的时候，必须上化学基础这门课，为了我的预科主修做准备。我拿了学术生涯中唯一的一个D。

So I went to my advisor, and I was like, "OK, let's drop the premed, because this doctor thing is not going to work, because I don't even like hospitals. So ..."

于是我去找学校辅导员说：“我放弃医学院预科了，因为我不是当医生的料，因为我根本就不喜欢医院。所以...“

"Let's just consider that done for." And that same semester, I started blogging. That was 2003. So as that one dream was ending, another was beginning. And then what was a cute hobby became my full-time job when I lost my marketing job in 2010. But it still took me two more years to say, "I'm a writer." Nine years after I had started writing, before I said, "I'm a writer," because I was afraid of what happens without 401ks, without, "How am I going to keep up my shoe habit? That's important to me."

“还是算了吧。”也是在那个学期，我开始写博客。那是2003年。当一个梦想结束的时候，另外一个梦想开始了。后来，当我2010年失去了市场营销工作的时候，这个可爱的爱好就成为了我全职的工作。但我花了两年多时间才能说：“我是个作家。”在我写作了九年之后我才说，“我是个作家。“因为我害怕没有退休金的后果，我害怕我不能继续保持买鞋的习惯，那对我很重要。

So it took me that long to own this thing that was what my purpose was. And then I realized, fear has a very concrete power of keeping us from doing and saying the things that are our purpose. And I was like, "You know what? I'm not going to let fear rule my life. I'm not going to let fear dictate what I do." And then all of these awesome things started happening, and dominoes started to fall.

所以我需要花很长的时间去了解我的目的是什么。然后我意识到，恐惧是一股非常具体的力量，会阻止我们说出和践行我们真正的目的。于是我想，“你知道吗？我不会让恐惧主宰我的生活。我不会让恐惧支配我的所作所为。”于是所有奇妙的事情开始发生了，骨牌开始倒下了。

So when I realized that, I was like, "OK, 2015, I turned 30, it's going to be my year of 'Do it anyway.' Anything that scares me, I'm going to actively pursue it." So, I'm a Capricorn. I like my feel solidly on the ground. I decided to take my first-ever solo vacation, and it was out of the country to the Dominican Republic. So on my birthday, what did I do? I went ziplining through the forests of Punta Cana. And for some odd reason, I had on business casual. Don't ask why.

当我意识到的时候，我开始想，“好，2015年我30岁了，这将是我‘不顾一切‘的一年我会积极地去追求任何令我恐惧的事情。”我是个摩羯座，我喜欢脚踏实地的感觉。我决定开启人生的首次个人旅行，我决定去多米尼加共和国。那么在我生日的那一天，我做了什么？我通过索道穿越蓬塔·卡纳森林。因为某些奇怪的原因，我穿了商务装。不要问我为什么。

And I had an incredible time. Also, I don't like being submerged in water. I like to be, again, on solid ground. So I went to Mexico and swam with dolphins underwater. And then the cool thing that I did also that year that was my mountain was I wrote my book, "I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual," And I had to own --

我度过了特别棒的时光。我不喜欢潜水。再说一次，我喜欢脚踏实地。所以我去了墨西哥，在水下和海豚游泳。那一年，我还做了一件超酷的事情，那是我的人生巅峰——我写了一本书，《我在评判你：如何做得更好》所以我现在应该算——

that whole writing thing now, right? Yes. But the very anti-me thing that I did that year that scared the crap out of me -- I went skydiving. We're about to fall out of the plane. I was like, "I've done some stupid things in life. This is one of them."

掌握写作的能力了，对吧？是的。但在那一年，我做的最非常“反我”的事情，简直要吓死我了——我去跳伞了。我们正要从飞机里跳下去的时候，我在想，“这绝对是我这辈子做过的蠢事之一。”

And then we come falling down to Earth, and I literally lose my breath as I see Earth, and I was like, "I just fell out of a perfectly good plane on purpose."

接下来我们就向地面坠落，我看着地面，我简直无法呼吸，我在想，“我刚刚故意从一架完好无损的飞机上跳下来了！”

"What is wrong with me?!" But then I looked down at the beauty, and I was like, "This is the best thing I could have done. This was an amazing decision." And I think about the times when I have to speak truth. It feels like I am falling out of that plane. It feels like that moment when I'm at the edge of the plane, and I'm like, "You shouldn't do this," but then I do it anyway, because I realize I have to.

“我有毛病吗？！”但当我俯视地表美景时，我在想，‘“这是我做过的最好的事情，这是一个超棒的决定。”我回想起需要说出实话的那些时刻。那感觉就像正从飞机上掉下来，就像我在飞机边缘的那一刻，我告诉自己，“你不应该这么做，”但无论如何我还是做了，因为我意识到自己必须去做。

Sitting at the edge of that plane and kind of staying on that plane is comfort to me. And I feel like every day that I'm speaking truth against institutions and people who are bigger than me and just forces that are more powerful than me, I feel like I'm falling out of that plane. But I realize comfort is overrated. Because being quiet is comfortable. Keeping things the way they've been is comfortable. And all comfort has done is maintain the status quo. So we've got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable by speaking these hard truths when they're necessary. And I --

对我来说，坐在飞机边缘，或者说呆在飞机上是很舒服的。我感觉，在我诉说真相，和那些比我强大的机构和人，以及那些更强大的势力抗衡的每一天。我仿佛从那架飞机上掉下来一般。但我意识到，舒适感其实被高估了。因为沉默是最舒适的。不去改变才是舒适的。但是舒适感能带给我们的只有维护现状而已。所以我们应该通过在必要的时候说出严峻的现实来学会走出自己的舒适区。而且我——

And for me, though, I realize that I have to speak these truths, because honesty is so important to me. My integrity is something I hold dear. Justice -- I don't think justice should be an option. We should always have justice. Also, I believe in shea butter as a core value, and --

我也意识到了坦白真相的重要性，因为诚实对于我来说非常重要。我珍惜我的正直。正义——我不认为正义是一个选项。我们需要一直保持公平正义。不过，我相信乳木果油也十分重要——

and I think the world would be better if we were more moisturized. But besides that, with these as my core values, I have to speak the truth. I have no other choice in the matter.

因为如果我们更加滋润，世界就会变得更好。但除此之外，我的核心价值观是：我必须讲出事实。在这个问题上我没有其他的选择。

But people like me, the professional troublemakers, should not be the only ones who are committed to being these dominoes who are always falling out of planes or being the first one to take this hit. People are so afraid of these acute consequences, not realizing that there are many times when we walk in rooms and we are some of the most powerful people in those rooms -- we might be the second-most powerful, third-most powerful.

但像我这样的人，专业的麻烦制造者，不应该只有我们为成为骨牌献身，不应该只有我们总是从飞机上跳下来，不应该只有我们成为靶子。人们惧怕严重的后果，所以没有意识到，很多时候，当我们走进房间时，我们是房间里最强大的一批人——或者可能是第二强大、第三强大的人。

And I firmly believe that our job in those times is to disrupt what is happening. And then if we're not the most powerful, if two more of us band together, it makes us powerful. It's like cosigning the woman in the meeting, you know, the woman who can't seem to get her word out, or just making sure that other person who can't make a point is being heard. Our job is to make sure they have room for that.

并且我坚信那时我们的任务是去中止正在发生的事。如果我们不是最强大的人，只要有更多的人加入我们，我们就会变得更强大。比如在开会时联合所有女性，我们要让那些不敢发声的女性，那些不敢发表看法的人能被倾听。我们的任务是为了确保她们的这一权益。

Everyone's well-being is community business. If we made that a point, we'd understand that, for the times when we need help, we wouldn't have to look around so hard if we made sure we were somebody else's help.

社会的目标就是确保每个人的幸福。如果我们明确了这一点，我们就会了解到，当我们需要帮助的时候，如果我们曾经对他人施以援手，就不必艰难地四处求助。

And there are times when I feel like I have taken very public tumbles and falls, like the time when I was asked to speak at a conference, and they wanted me to pay my way there. And then I did some research and found out the white men who spoke there got compensated and got their travel paid for. The white women who spoke there got their travel paid for. The black women who spoke there were expected to actually pay to speak there.

有时候，我在公共场合会感到十分受挫，比如有一次，我受邀去会议上发表演讲，他们想让我自付差旅费。然后我做了些调查，发现在那儿演讲的白人男性都拿到了酬劳，并报销了他们的差旅费。在那儿演讲的白人女性至少也拿到了差旅费。而黑人女性，却需要自费演讲。

And I was like, "What do I do?" And I knew that if I spoke up about this publicly, I could face financial loss. But then I also understood that my silence serves no one. So I fearfully spoke up about it publicly, and other women started coming out to talk about, "I, too, have faced this type of pay inequality." And it started a conversation about discriminatory pay practices that this conference was participating in.

我就在想，“我该怎么办？“我知道如果将这件事公之于众，我可能会面对财务损失。但是我也知道我的沉默不会帮助任何人。所以尽管心中十分忐忑，我还是公开地谈论了这件事情。之后其他女性也开始站出来谈论，“我也面对过这种不公平的待遇。”于是我们开始讨论那个会议的歧视性报酬。

I felt like I was the domino the time I read a disturbing memoir by a public figure and wrote a piece about it. I knew this person was more powerful than me and could impact my career, but I was like, "I've got to do this. I've got to sit at the edge of this plane," maybe for two hours. And I did. And I pressed "Publish," and I ran away.

当我读到一位公众人物带有歧视性的回忆录并写了一些读后感时，我觉得我成了一张骨牌，我知道这个人比我更强大，他可能会影响我的事业，但我想，“我得做这件事。我得坐在飞机的边缘”，想了大概两个小时，最后决定放手一搏。我按了“发布”键，然后溜了。

And I came back to a viral post and people being like, "Oh my God, I'm so glad somebody finally said this." And it started a conversation about mental health and self-care, and I was like, "OK. Alright. This thing that I'm doing, I guess, alright, it's doing something."

然后我发现这篇文章收到了极高的关注，人们在说，“天哪，我很开心终于有个人说这个了。“然后它开启了一场关于精神健康和自我照顾的讨论，我想，“好啊，我猜我正在做的这件事情，正在产生影响。”

And then so many people have been the domino when they talk about how they've been assaulted by powerful men. And it's made millions of women join in and say, "Me Too." So, a shout-out to Tarana Burke for igniting that movement.

然后当很多人开始讨论自己怎么被位高权重的男性抨击的时候，他们也成为了骨牌。然后数百万女性也加入进来，并说出，“我也是。”在此，要感谢塔拉娜·伯克点燃了这场运动。

People and systems count on our silence to keep us exactly where we are. Now, being the domino sometimes comes down to being exactly who you are. So, I've been a shady somebody since I was three.

大众和体制在依靠我们的沉默去维持现状。但有的时候成为骨牌就是在做自己。我从三岁起就是个名声不怎么样的人。

This is me on my third birthday. But I've been this girl all my life, and I feel like even that's been the domino, because in a world that wants us to walk around as representatives of ourselves, being yourself can be a revolutionary act. And in a world that wants us to whisper, I choose to yell.

这是我三岁生日时的照片。但我这一生从未改变，我始终觉得应该去当那一张骨牌，因为上帝想让我们去为自己发声，活出自我是一种革命性的行为。在一个想让我们谨言慎行的世界里，我选择大声呼喊。

When it's time to say these hard things, I ask myself three things. One: Did you mean it? Two: Can you defend it? Three: Did you say it with love? If the answer is yes to all three, I say it and let the chips fall. That's important. That checkpoint with myself always tells me, "Yes, you're supposed to do this." Telling the truth -- telling thoughtful truths -- should not be a revolutionary act. Speaking truths to power should not be sacrificial, but they are. But I think if more of us chose to do this for the greater good, we'd be in better spaces than we are right now.

当我感到有些事情让我难以启齿的时候，我会问自己三个问题，第一：你是认真的吗？第二：你可以为它辩护吗？第三：你是为爱发声吗？如果这三个问题的答案都是肯定的，我就会不计后果地说出来。那很重要。这三个问题始终给予我肯定的力量。说实话——说出深思熟虑的实话——不应该成为革命性的举动。对权势说真话不应该意味着牺牲，但事实却是如此。但是如果更多的人能加入我们，我们的处境会比现在更好。

Speaking of the greater good, I think we commit ourselves to telling truths to build bridges to common ground, and bridges that aren't based on truth will collapse. So it is our job, it is our obligation, it is our duty to speak truth to power, to be the domino, not just when it's difficult -- especially when it's difficult.

说到更好的世界，我认为我们有责任用真相搭建桥梁，去连接共同点，那些没有用真相搭建起来的桥梁就会崩塌。所以，这是我们的工作，我们的义务和责任不屈从于权贵，去成为骨牌，不只是在艰难的时候——尤其是在艰难的时候。

Thank you.

谢谢。

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