每日读外刊：为什么大多数人都很自卑

Why Are Most People Plagued by Feelings of Inferiority

为什么大多数人都很自卑？

Many ordinary individuals carry hidden inferiority feelings beneath their calm‑looking surface. Research in Frontiers in Psychology notes that genuine steady self‑esteem is uncommon among the general public . Most of us shift between short‑lived self‑confidence and quiet self‑doubt in daily life. Since people tend to display only their polished sides online and offline, we mistakenly believe others live free from inner insecurity. We rarely witness their private frustration, so we take our inner weakness as a unique personal flaw.

很多普通人外表平静从容，内心却藏着挥之不去的自卑。《心理学前沿》的研究指出，真正稳定的自尊在普通大众身上并不常见 。日常生活中，我们多数人会在短暂自信与暗自自我怀疑之间来回切换。因为无论线上线下，人们大多只展示光鲜一面，我们便误以为别人没有内心不安。我们很少看见他人私下的挫败，于是把自己内心的脆弱当成独属于自己的缺陷。

Roots of inferiority often trace back to early‑life family interactions. According to Psychology Today, many caregivers offer conditional praise only when children achieve satisfying results . Gradually kids accept a harmful mindset: I deserve recognition only if I perform well. Once they fail to meet external standards in adulthood, automatic self‑devaluation will emerge. Even minor setbacks can trigger sharp inner criticism that they hardly notice in busy daily routines.

自卑的根源常常可以追溯到早年家庭相处模式。《今日心理学》提到，很多长辈只在孩子取得不错成绩时才给予有条件的夸奖 。孩子慢慢接受一种有害思维：只有表现出色，我才配得到肯定。成年后一旦达不到外界标准，自我贬低就会自动冒出来。即便是很小的挫折，也会触发严苛的内心批判，忙碌生活里自己甚至都察觉不到。

Social comparison amplified by social media further fuels widespread inferiority. We scroll through feeds filled with others’ carefully edited highlight moments. We compare our messy real‑life struggles against other people’s filtered perfect snapshots. Relevant psychological studies warn that such one‑sided upward comparison distorts self‑perception heavily . You observe others’ success and happiness, yet you remain unaware of their hidden anxiety and repeated failures behind screens.

社交媒体放大的社会比较进一步催生大范围的自卑。刷信息流时，满眼都是别人精心剪辑后的高光时刻。我们拿自己一地鸡毛的真实生活，对比他人筛选后的完美片段。相关心理学研究警示，这种单向向上比较会严重扭曲自我认知 。你看见别人的成功与喜乐，却看不到屏幕背后他们藏起来的焦虑与一次次失败。

A critical mental trap lies in confusing personal value with practical performance. Large numbers of people judge self‑worth totally by outside standards: income, appearance, status and public feedback. When work goes wrong or negative comments arrive, their sense of value collapses instantly. They cannot separate what they accomplish from who they intrinsically are. Temporary missteps are wrongly interpreted as solid proof that they are inadequate as human beings.

一个关键思维陷阱，就是混淆个人本身价值和现实表现。大量的人完全依靠外在标尺评判自我价值：收入、外貌、地位以及外界评价。当事情搞砸或是收到负面评价，价值感瞬间崩塌。他们分不清自己做成的事，和自己本身是什么样的人。短暂的失误，会被错误解读为自己这个人一无是处的确凿证据。

It is worth stressing that inferiority itself is not shameful. It represents a natural psychological signal showing you care about self‑improvement. Many ambitious people gain driving force from mild inferiority. The real risk is not occasional self‑doubt, but letting inferiority take charge of major decisions. It discourages you from chasing worthy chances, makes you downplay your strengths and pushes you to over‑adapt to other people’s expectations.

值得强调，自卑本身并不可耻。它是正常心理信号，代表你在意自我成长。很多上进的人，前进动力就来自适度自卑。真正的风险不是偶尔自我怀疑，而是让自卑主导重大选择。它会打消你争取机会的勇气，弱化你对自身优势的认知，迫使你过度迎合他人期待。

Escaping long‑term inferiority does not require overnight excellence. Research suggests accepting personal imperfection serves as a practical starting point. Stop evaluating yourself merely through other people’s eyes. Allow yourself flaws and low‑energy days. Your value never depends on constant outstanding performance. When harsh self‑judgment fades away, you can build calm and solid self‑respect step by step in ordinary life.

摆脱长期自卑并不需要一夜之间变得无比优秀。研究表明接纳自身不完美是现实的起点。不要再单纯用别人的眼光评判自己。允许自己拥有缺点，也接纳状态低迷的日子。你的价值从来不取决于时时刻刻表现出众。当苛刻的自我评判慢慢褪去，你就可以在平凡生活中一步步建立平和稳固的自尊。

文中日常高频英语词组：

1. trace back to 追溯到

2. conditional praise 有条件的夸奖

3. social comparison 社会比较

4. upward comparison 向上比较

5. self‑perception 自我认知

6. self‑worth 自我价值

7. intrinsic are（intrinsic self）内在自我

8. take charge of 掌控；主导

9. downplay one’s strengths 低估自身优势

10. self‑respect 自尊