萨古鲁：根据自己的需求决定是否结婚

萨古鲁谈到了人类的各种需求，这些需求推动我们建立关系——身体的、情感的、心理的、经济的和社会的。今天，在本系列的最后一部分里，他将告诉我们更多关于如何在我们内在认识这些需求，并且作为个体就婚姻问题做出决定。

Sadhguru: You must see, first of all, whether for you as a person, the need for a partnership is important or just a passing thing. I would say, at least 25 to 30 percent of the people do not need to even go in that direction because it is just a passing interest. For another 30 to 40 percent, it may be a little longer and they get into this. For 10 to 12 years they feel good and after that they think it’s a burden. But there are some people for whom the need is very strong. About 25 to 30 percent need partnerships for a much longer period; they definitely need to get into such arrangements.

Sadhguru（萨古鲁）： 你必须看清楚，首先你作为一个人，对于伴侣关系的需求是很重要的还是只是一时的需要。我要说，至少25%到30%的人甚至是不需要走向那个方向的，因为那只是一时的兴趣。对于另外的30%到40%的人，也许兴致更长一些，然后他们就走进去了。有10到12年他们会感觉良好，过了之后他们会认为那是一种负担。不过，有一些人他们的需求是非常强烈的。大约25%到30%的人需要更长时间的伴侣关系；那么他们肯定需要进入这样的安排。

A live-in relationship is not the solution to handle your needs.

同居关系不是处理你的需求的解决方案。

Right now, people have found other kinds of solutions. Especially in the West, and in India also it is beginning to happen. “Okay, I won’t get married, I will just live-in.” So live in; if you are just living with one person, anyway it is marriage, whether you have a certificate or not. But if you think you can choose your partners every weekend, you are causing a serious damage to yourself. Because, just as your mind has a memory, your body has a much stronger sense of memory. The body imbibes and retains experiences. If you go to the Himalayas, you may for get the Himalayas, but your body will not forget them. Always, it will remember. Mentally, you may get dementia and lose all your memory. But the physical will carry it on.

现在，人们发现了其它的解决方案。特别是在西方，在印度也开始出现。“好啊，我不结婚，我们只是住在一起。”所以就同居了；如果你只是跟一个人，那么不管你有没有证书，那就是婚姻。但是如果你想每个周末都换伴侣，那么你正在对自己造成严重的伤害。因为，正如你的头脑有记忆，你的身体有更强烈的记忆。身体吸收并保留各种体验。如果你去到喜马拉雅，你可能忘记了喜马拉雅，可是你的身体不会忘记。它会一直记得。精神上，你可能会痴呆并失去所有的记忆。可是身体将会一直保有它们。

So physical intimacy is, in the Indian tradition, called Runanabandha. Runanabandha refers to the body’s physical memory. The body develops a deep sense of memory about physical intimacy. It responds and reacts in many ways in the future, based on this memory. If you imprint too many memories, there will be confusion in the body. Too many memories like this leads to a certain level of confusion and a certain level of misery. You can clearly see this. People who are loose with their life and their physical body, they will never know any real sense of joy. Please watch this carefully around you. They can never laugh totally, nor can they cry totally. They will become like this - because confusing memories in the physical body in one lifetime will create a lot of impressions. So, a live-in relationship is not the solution to handle your needs.

因此，按照印度的传统，身体接触称为Runanabandha。 Runanabandha指的是身体的物理记忆。 身体会对身体上的亲密行为产生深刻的记忆。 它将来会以多种方式做出响应和反应。 如果你植入了太多的记忆，身体就会有些混乱。 太多像这样的记忆会导致一定程度的混乱和一定程度的痛苦。 你能清晰地看到这些。 那些放纵自己的生命和肉体的人，他们永远不会有任何真正的快乐。 你可以细心地观察一下你身边的人。 他们不会尽情地笑，也不会尽情地哭。 他们将会变成这样——因为在一生中物质身体的混乱记忆将会留下很多印迹。 所以，同居关系不是处理你的需求的解决方案。

Either you go into marriage or you simply go beyond these needs. But this is something that you have to look at individually - how strong is your need. If you want to look at this with clarity, without social influence, it is always best that you take some time off, let's say a month. When you make this decision, you must be in a state of clarity. You must not be influenced by anybody. Not by your Guru, not by society, not by anybody. Just meditate and bring yourself into a certain state of clarity. In that clarity, look at your needs and how strong they really are.

要么你走进婚姻，要么你超越这些需求。但这是你必须自己考虑的问题——你的需求有多强烈。如果你想在没有社会影响的情况下清晰地看待这个问题，那么最好花一些时间，比如说一个月。当你做这个决定时，你必须处在一种清晰的状态下。你不被任何人影响。不被你的古鲁，不被社会，不被任何人影响。就只是冥想，把自己带入一种清晰的状态。在那种清晰的状态下，观察你的需求，看它们到底有多强烈。

If you find that marriage is not necessary, that’s it, once you make a decision, don’t look that way. If you make a decision to go that way, don’t look this way. One of these things you must do. If you hang around in between, you will remain in a constant state of confusion. “Which is the best thing?” There is no best thing. Live your life like that - whatever you’re doing, that is all you’re doing. Absolutely. If you have this quality, whatever you do, it is fine. But constant shifting; people who are married for 15 years are now thinking, “Maybe I should have taken Brahmacharya.” People who have been Brahmacharis for 10 years, now they think,“ Maybe I should have gotten married.” This is an endless waste of life.

如果你发现婚姻并非必要，那就是它了，一旦你做出一个决定，就不要再往那条路看。如果你做出了一个决定要走那条路，就不要再往这条路看。你必须两者取其一。如果你在两者之间难以取舍，你将始终处于混乱的状态。“哪一个是最好的？”没有最好的。这样过自己的生活——无论在做什么，那就是你在做的一切，彻底地。如果你有这种品质，不管你做什么，都很好。但是不断地变换；结了婚15年的人在想“也许我应该选择Brahmacharya（僧侣的道路）”已经成为Brahmacharis（僧人）10年的人在想“也许我应该结婚。”这是在无止境地浪费生命。