穿过一条很长的隧道，两边没有灯

“你怎么来了？”她娘的声音不高，像是怕惊动什么，“快回去。这地方不能来。赶紧走。”她哭了。她蹲在地上，像十几年前那个扎羊角辫的小丫头一样仰头看她。“娘，我想你。”她娘没有走过来。她娘只是站在那儿，隔着一层薄薄的雾。“听我话。妞，养大孩子，娘不能帮你了。”然后她娘转过身，走了。那团光散开了，隧道重新变得黑漆漆的，只剩下她一个人。她娘不让她去找她，不能去那边。灰姑娘醒来的时候枕头湿了一片，窗外的天还没亮。

事隔六年，这一次，她又梦见她娘了。不是她想梦见她，是她撑不住了。连着好几天，她又被人训，明明不是她的错，她什么都没做错，可人家说她，她就得听着。她从小就是这样，温顺得过了头，不敢顶嘴，不会辩解。她娘以前说她乖，说女孩子就该这样。可是乖有什么好呢？软柿子就是被人捏的。她总是想着怎么让别人舒服，怎么理解别人的难处，怎么做才能让所有人都满意。

可是她得到了什么？她得到的是一次又一次不被理解。她的委屈没人听，她的辛苦没人看见。她把自己活成了一个透明的人，谁都看得穿她，谁都捏得了她，可谁都想不到问她一句——你疼不疼？累不累。

灰姑娘受了委屈就会哭，眼睛快哭瞎了。

那天晚上他回来了了。他推门进来的时候，她正在泡脚。水已经凉了，她懒得动。卫生间门角有一滩水，是孩子洗头洒的，她还没来得及拖。他一脚踩上去，低头一看，脸就涨成了猪肝色。“门角烂了你看不见？叫你别在这洗头你聋了？”脏话跟着就来，一字一句砸在她身上，像是提前准备好了的。她说不是她弄的，她说她叫孩子别在那洗叫了也不听，她说你别像个疯子一样——他根本听不进去。他张着嘴，吼了一句又一句，那话像针刺的人心疼。她看到他的眼睛，瞪得大大的，红色的血丝像蛛网一样从眼角爬向瞳孔。他朝她逼过来，脸上的肉在抽搐，咬牙切齿的，像是下一秒就要动手。灰姑娘在泡脚，他老公回来就发脾气。她不觉得他是老公了。他是疯子。一个大疯子。

她好想逃。可是她能逃到哪里去呢？逃了需要钱，没有去处，五个孩子，小的还在吃奶。她连生气的资格都没有。仿佛是要撑不住了。多少个晚上她哭着睡着了。眼泪干了又流，流了又干，仿佛眼睛要瞎了。

她梦见自己站在一片灰蒙蒙的地方，像是悬崖边上。雾气很大，风从下面吹上来，冷得刺骨。脚下的土是松的，碎石往下掉，听不见回响。她知道自己又在梦里，可她还是害怕。她快要掉下去了。风很大，吹得她站不稳，身子往前倾，碎石哗啦啦往下落。她拼命往前——抓住了一株藤蔓。它从悬崖壁上垂下来，细细的，像麻绳。根扎在碎石缝里，旁边全是砂土，连一点泥巴都没有。风一吹，它晃得厉害。她死死攥着它，手被勒出一道道红痕，心悬在半空中，整个人挂在崖壁上。“别抓我。”它说话了。“我不安全。你看我长在这没泥巴的地方，根扎得不深，风大一点就连根拔起来了。你抓住我，我们会一起跌下去的。一起完蛋。”灰姑娘又做梦了，悬崖边藤蔓都无力帮她

灰姑娘不放。她死也不放。它是她唯一的救命稻草了。抓住它，她还能有一线希望。她不能掉下去，她掉下去了，孩子们怎么办？他们还在家里等她。她拼命往上爬，指甲嵌进崖壁的石缝里，磨出一个个深浅的血痕，可藤蔓晃得越来越厉害。她知道它在犹豫。它想帮她。可是它怕。怕自己撑不住，怕被她拖下去，怕她们一起粉身碎骨。灰姑娘不想死，抓住藤蔓不放。

就在这时候，一只手伸过来了。不是藤蔓。是手。凉凉的，带着薄茧的，握住了她的手腕。她抬起头，被风沙迷了的眼裂开一条缝——是娘。她站在崖边，弯着腰，一只手死死撑在崖石上，另一只手拉着她。她穿着那件蓝布褂子，头发全白了，脸上全是岁月刻下的沟壑，很深，很疼。她咬着牙，额角的青筋都鼓了出来，眼眶红着，却没有掉一滴泪。她娘来拉她了。

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http://wap.likego.icu/wnews/79336.shtml人带五个孩子，地里的活都是她一个人干，腰疼得直不起来没有人问她累不累。她说外面也有人欺负她，明明她没有错，人家就是想骂她，她不敢顶嘴，她就是想工作。她想养大孩子，她没有一个人可以说心里话。她说她不知道自己哪里不好——是她太温顺了吗？是她太软弱了吗？是她活该被欺负吗？她跟娘哭诉她的委屈挫折。

她娘一直没有动。她站在那里，像一棵老树，风吹过去，叶子沙沙响，树干却一动不动。她等了很久，等她像从前一样蹲下来，拍拍她的后背，说一句“没事，娘在”。她娘也等了很久。等她把所有的眼泪都流干。等她把最后一丝力气也哭尽。等风停下来，等崖边的碎石不再往下掉。她娘慢慢蹲下来。她的手很凉，指节粗大，掌心全是硬茧。可当她握住女儿的手，把那些凉和硬传过来，她却觉得热。那热从她手心跳到她的手心，又从她的手心跳到胸口。

“妞，你别到悬崖边上来。”她娘的声音不高，像是怕惊动什么。也许怕惊动牛鬼蛇神，“你会掉下去的。”“娘，我也不想来的。可是我没有办法了。”“你看看你，五个娃娃，你不回去谁管？”她哭得更凶了。她娘的手攥得更紧，指头一根一根扣在她的手背上，像小时候教她学走路，不肯松。“别期待别人一直对你好。”她娘说，声音不高，却一个字一个字砸在她心上，“你盼不来的。回去吧。不是你自己要到这崖边来的，是别人把你推到这崖边来的。可你不能一直站在这儿。你得往回走，往有光的地方走。”她娘松开手，站起来，往后退了两步。