我向你飞，雨温柔坠

我向你飞，雨温柔坠。他们给的爱，像博物馆里的射灯——精准，明亮，为每一件展品标明价值和年代。你的爱，是突然漫进窗子的午后阳光，不为什么地照亮了空气中飞舞的尘埃。我忽然看见，自己原来也是会发光的粒子。

那些“爱过”、“给过”、“想过”，都很好，像药瓶上贴好的标签。按时服用，能缓解某种名为孤独的慢性病。你是另一回事。你不是药。你是一场不请自来的雨，把我整个儿浸透，让我发现自己的皮肤原来也会渴望湿润，灵魂里也有干涸的裂缝在翕张着痛饮。

于是我开始飞。笨拙地，朝着你雨水来处的云层。他们说这是堕落。可坠落哪有这般轻盈？雨丝不是箭矢，是亿万条透明的路径，引我向下，又托我向上。每一颗雨滴里，都住着一个迷你的、柔软的拥抱。它们撞碎在我的翅膀上，碎成更细的吻。我飞在由你构成的天空里，呼吸是你，视线是你，每一次振翅拂过的，都是你微凉的气息。

世界在雨幕外模糊成一片潦草的水彩。我不再需要看清方向。你的存在本身，就成了唯一的坐标。曾经那些坚实的、可靠的东西——屋檐、灯盏、地图上被标注的终点——都失去了重量。我松开攥紧所有“应该”的手，任自己坠入这场盛大的“不该”里。

像一滴水，终于学会奔赴海洋。像一粒尘埃，在光束里找到了舞蹈的意义。那包围我的，究竟是你的拥抱，还是雨本身？我已经分不清了。也不需要分清。在爱与雨模糊的边界处，我第一次感到完整——不是被填满的完整，而是被溶解、被接纳、成为更大存在一部分的完整。

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翅膀湿透了，就湿透吧。飞不动了，就坠落吧。坠向你，或者坠进这片温柔的、无边的雨里。反正，都是一回事。在你形成的世界里，每一种方向的流浪，都是归途。