《情绪管理十二讲》第3版：第十二讲 乐趣和成功之间的差距

《情绪管理十二讲》第3版：第十二讲 乐趣和成功之间的差距第十二讲-乐趣和成功之间的差距

如今人们公开谈论成功。我认为，社会在每个不同的时代都有它的主流话题，所以我们生活的时间是成功的最佳时机。我们在中世纪的祖先并没有成功的奢侈。原因很简单，你出生于农民，你最终可能会死于一个农民的身份。

工业革命后，情况开始好转。旧世界悄然离开，新秩序走上舞台。然而，在短暂的春天之后不久，战争爆发了，到处都是。那时最常见的命运是你出生在一个小商人的家庭里，你接受了良好的教育，准备去你父亲的公司。然后不知怎的，你最后被一把机关枪击中，然后死在了法国的无名战壕里。

这看起来够糟的了？哦，好吧，在大战结束后的几十年里，欧洲和全世界都认为，一场战争是不够好的，让我们再来一场。

所有这些都意味着，在社交上取得成功在当时并不是一个时髦的话题，因为时间和环境并没有为这种事情的发生提供任何舞台。只有在民主和相当稳定的和平时期之后，一种文化才能够从生存、粉碎敌人转移到关注个人的成功上来。

快进到今天，我们到处讨论成功，与朋友在酒吧，在电视谈话节目里，在互联网上等等。有一个共同的信念，说你必须享受你所做的事情的乐趣，才能成功。我认为这个观点本身没有任何问题，但我觉得其中存在一个广泛的误解。

我认为有乐趣，玩得开心，是我们生存的基础，也是所有人类活动的终极动力之一。许多有影响力的人也一直强调这一点：为了获得成功，你需要从一开始就对自己所做的事情有乐趣。但问题是，许多人把它作为成功的手段，而它仅仅是一个先决条件。

这会导致问题。你渴望取得巨大的成功。当觉得时间合适时，你根据自己喜欢做的事情启动你的项目，然后试着每天都努力地向前推进。几天、几个月、几年过去了，你仍然是一个“业余爱好者”， 而不是那些在这个领域做得非常专业的人。为什么？其中一个主要的原因是，兴趣和娱乐心态只能激励你走出完美的第一步，玩得开心，兴趣满足了，你总是在重复这个完美的第一步，而不是在你的项目中实际向前迈进，最终几乎没有什么实际的收效。

享受成功的果实，需要两个要素：兴趣和才能。前者将一个人拖入活动中，后者使他能够高调开始，并且随着时间的推移变得越来越有激情。然而，要想成功地完成同样的活动，我们需要更多、更多的东西，额外的成分，譬如分析性思维和面向技术的研究。

生活中有很多例子来证实这一点。以美术为例，它需要一种创造性思维才能发现并展现出创造力和独创性。然而，需要利用分析和技术精神来实施这些发现和原始创造。这种“大师头脑”正是在他或她的职业生涯中，由街头画家走向国家博物馆的原因。简而言之，一个有创造力的人发现并享受乐趣，继而以一种分析和技术的精神来利用这些发现，并向成功迈出脚步。

最后的建议是，你可以既有创造力又善于分析，你最好两者兼而有之。

The gap between having fun and being successful

Nowadays people openly talk a lot about success. I turn to think that a society has its trending topic in each different era. So the time we are living in is the best time for success talk. Our ancestors in medieval days did not have the luxury of success. The reason was quite simple, your born a peasant and you probably die a peasant.

After the industrial revolution, things started to get better. The old world quietly left the stage to new order. However, not long after the brief spring, the war broke out everywhere. At that time the most common fate would be that you were born to a family of a small business man. You received decent education and was about to take your father’s company. Then somehow, you ended up being shot by a machine gun and then died in the trench in the middle of nowhere inFrance.

This looked bad enough? Oh well, in the following decades after the big war,Europeand the world decided that, one war was not good enough. Let’s have another one.

All this is to say, being socially successful couldn’t really be a trendy topic back in the days as the time and circumstances did not provide any stage for this to happen. It is only after democracy and a fairly stable period of peace, a culture can then shift its focus from surviving, crushing their enemies to focusing on individual success.

Fast forward to now, we discuss success everywhere, in bars with friends, on TV in talk shows, on the internet, etc. There’s a common belief says that you have to be having fun in what you do, in order to succeed. I don’t have a problem with this statement per se, but there’s a broad misunderstanding about this to my opinion.

I do think to have fun is the basis of our existence and one of the ultimate motors of all human activities. So many influencers also emphasize it all the time: in order to be successful, you need to have fun in what you do from the very beginning. The problem though, is that many people take it as the means to success, whereas it is simply just a prerequisite.

This would result in problems. You craved for huge success. When the time felt right, you launched your project based on the thing you love doing the most and then trying to push forward each day. Days, months, years went by, you are still a “hobbyist” comparing to someone who has made it professionally in this field. Why? One of the main reasons is having fun and be motivated for what you do is just the first step. It is hardly any good or productive to repeat this first step to perfection instead of actually moving forward in your project.

To have fun in doing something specific, we need mainly two things: interest and talent. The former drags a person into the activity and the latter enables him to start on high note and grow more and more passionate with time. However, to succeed big in doing the same activity, we need something more, way more. The additional ingredients would be analytical thinking and technical oriented research.

There’re so many examples in life to depict this. Take fine art as example, it takes a creative mind to discover and bring out that creativity and originality. However, it takes an analytical and technical spirit to capitalize on this discoveries and primitive creations. This “master mind” is what brings that street painter to national museum over the years of his or her career. To make it short, a creative minds discover and have fun. Then it takes an analytical and technical spirit to capitalize the discoveries and take one step further to success.

The final take away is, you can be both creative and analytical. You better be both.

巴黎雷欧，GLC（Galerie Leo et Co）的创始人，曾是清华大学研究生和巴黎高商重点毕业生，著有《简明国际商务+简明内部谈判》（法文版，多家辅导机构用作考研必读书）《国际谈判哲学》（法文版）《国际谈判实务》（华文版）《跨国公司内部谈判效益论析》（法文版）和《雷欧带你认识法国》（英文版）《雷欧带你认识巴黎》（英文版）《法国现代书画艺术评论》（英文版3 卷）《远东文化艺术》（法文&华文）《情绪管理十二讲》（英文版&华文版）等书籍。

情绪管理十二讲

原书名：Paris gold Key

（巴黎金钥匙）

Léo Paris

巴黎雷欧 著

Paris 2019

内容简介

这是一本从非常别致的角度解析情绪管理的著作，是从作者的系列心理学讲座中挑选出来的。巴黎雷欧（李由、任由之）的系列心理学讲座，在法国、美国青年中颇受欢迎，特试译为中文版本。

巴黎雷欧著有《简明国际商务》（多所大学用作考研辅导书）《跨国公司内部谈判效益论析》（法文版）《法国现代书画艺术评论》（英文版3卷）和《雷欧带你认识法国》《雷欧带你认识巴黎》等书籍。

由于巴黎雷欧现系巴黎远东文化艺术协会负责人，巴黎远东艺术馆、巴黎雷欧珍宝馆和多种媒体及版权交易机构负责人，非常繁忙，所以此译本尚未得巴黎雷欧先生审阅，特此说明。

Paris gold Key

巴黎金钥匙

Léo Paris

Catalog

Key to success with ease

Give your poor self-discipline a break

Decision-making, a highly disguised escape

Key to success with efficiency

Toxic personality, why some people are impossible to reason with

Disconnected of one’s emotion, the real symptoms

One is extremely moody because he is NOT emotional

Open mindedness and self-awareness

Cure to boredom, engage the environment around you

DON’T find something that you love and let it kill you

Social accessibility, one major cure for social isolation

The gap between having fun and being successful

情绪管理十二讲

Léo Paris

巴黎雷欧

目录

（中文译本未经巴黎雷欧审阅）

第一讲 轻松成功，有秘诀吗？

第二讲 给你的“自律”放个假

第三讲 决策，可能是伪装的逃避

第四讲 成功的关键在于效率

第五讲 毒性人格，为何不能正常诠释

第六讲 情感脱节，一个危险的症状

第七讲 情绪化，恰恰是因为缺乏感性

第八讲 强烈感觉与自我意识

第九讲 治愈厌倦，参与周围的环境

第十讲 不要让你喜欢的东西杀死你

第十一讲 社交障碍治疗——消除隔离

第十二讲 乐趣和成功之间的差距

巴黎雷欧的部分著作：

巴黎雷欧投资研报03：（欧盟20万至50万欧元支持计划）

法国提供实用的研发投资税收减免：健康、制药、绿色科技、农业科技、数字科技等，特别是生物科技及可持续发展技术领域。

法国政府还设有特别基金支持外国投资者的创新和初创合作。法国政府通过简化行政程序和提供法律及财务咨询服务，吸引和支持外国投资者。