彼此磨合中，最重要的是包容和理解

老人的时间变得多起来，空间却变得小了。以前上班、带孩子，分散了注意力。而如今，大多数都退休了，闲得无聊，容易把关注点放在对方的小毛病上。张爱玲说，“人生若只如初见，多好。”可我们早已过了初见的时候，剩下的是磨合、琢磨、以及不断地争论和理解。

其实，争吵不是因为不爱了，而是生活节奏变慢后，两个人的“小情绪”被无限放大。比如吃饭时间不一致、电视节目难以统一、养生理念各自不同，这些微不足道的差异都会激起“火花”。

年轻时吵架，总有人急着敷衍，一句“我上班累了，你别闹”就能消停。可六十岁以后，时间多了，却缺乏耐心，反而更容易较真。有人说：“夫妻能一起吃饭，就是最大的幸福。”但我们有时候就是忘了，幸福其实藏在平淡里，不是每一刻都要轰轰烈烈。

最有趣的是，很多争吵都是“反复重复”，今天为吃饭冷了，明天又为碗没洗干净。其实，这些小问题很容易解决，只要愿意换个角度。老友记里有句经典，“关键不是谁对谁错，而是我们还能不能相互理解。”http://m.hangtouyly.com/mnews/93352.shtml
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不少中年朋友认为，60岁后的争吵其实是沟通方式的变化。大家都想“被听见”，却容易忽略对方的感受。你说东，他讲西，最后谁都没明白谁在想什么。这种无效沟通，是很多家庭的“隐形 ”。