巴黎雷欧《情绪管理十二讲》（第2版）-第七讲：情绪化，恰恰是因为缺乏感性

《情绪管理十二讲》（第二版）

注：华文由法文翻译而来

《情绪管理十二讲》巴黎雷欧（YouZHi Ren）著

原书名：Paris gold Key（巴黎金钥匙）

Léo Paris 巴黎雷欧 著

内容简介

这是一本从非常别致的角度解析情绪管理的著作，是从作者的系列心理学讲座中挑选出来的。巴黎雷欧（李由、任由之）的系列心理学讲座，在法国、美国青年中颇受欢迎，特试译为中文版本。

巴黎雷欧著有《简明国际商务》（欧盟版）《法国现代书画艺术评论》（英文版3卷）和《雷欧带你认识法国》《雷欧带你认识巴黎》等书籍。

由于巴黎雷欧现系巴黎远东文化艺术协会负责人，巴黎雷欧艺术馆及版权交易机构负责人，工作繁忙，此译本尚未得巴黎雷欧先生审阅，特此说明。

第七讲情绪化，恰恰是因为缺乏感性

你有没有问过自己这个问题：为什么一些最忧郁的人坚信他们是完全理性的？为什么你身边的疯子会再回到你身边，因为在几天前他们像爆炸的火山一样把你狠狠地“打”了一顿，难道什么都没发生过？

对我来说，有时在工作中目睹这类事情也是相当令人震惊的。看到我的一个前同事在电话里辱骂一个客户，这真是让人大开眼界，然后自发地去见她的上司，抗议她被客户滥用，并坚信她掌握了真相。

为了理解这些荒诞场面背后的原因，我们将分析人类心理的结构，找出什么是导致这种疯狂的原因。

在我们的心理中，有三个概念在不断地起作用：意识（自我）、特殊情绪（无意识的爆发）和一般情绪（通常的反应）。它们看起来比实际复杂得多，但它们是简单的概念。让我用简短的方式来讨论每一个问题。

每个人都有意识或自我。它是一个单位，既能感知自身的存在，又能感知周围发生的事情。在我们所说的任何句子中，都有“我”这个词。例如，我很好，我看到光明。所以，你可以看到，意识是逻辑和理性的摇篮。然后，在人类心理中有一个无意识的黑暗世界，我们无法直接进入。正是因为有了数百万年的评价，我们才能应付一代代的生存需要。

我们的情绪是我们生存机制的重要组成部分，是我们从无意识到自我的信号。这种交流的形式是有形的：快速心跳，缓慢上升的体温，出汗，收紧胃，以及放松肌肉，降低血压，或是你的胸前有痒的感觉，就像你为你梦寐以求的东西期望很长一段时间。我们每天在生活中体验到的这些有形的肉体信号就是我们的情感。他们并没有直接传达任何的智力意义，而是非常个人化的。

然后出现了第三个概念，它与前两个概念不同，即情绪传递。最大的特征是，情绪它同时是个人和社会的。这个概念仍然很简单：自我（意识）对无意识信号（空虚）的通常反应。最重要的是，它可以被围绕这个主题的其他意识所感知。是的，这是有趣的地方。一个人的情绪可以被其他人积极有效地被动地感知。这就是为什么我们说情绪是有感染力的。

现在，我们更清楚地看到，情绪化的人，其概念与情绪无关。情绪化，意味着人的意识易于欢迎和接受他人的情感。这些来自暗处的信号是被不断地采纳和处理的。换句话说，一个情绪化的人在他的意识和无意识之间有一个强大的桥梁。

相反，对于一个根本没有情绪化的人来说，他的无意识可能与自我意识隔绝了。黑暗海洋的信号根本不影响他的意识，更不用说适当的反应了。在这种情况下，问题是显而易见的。

经过数百万年的进化，我们的无意识非常强烈，它们全天候工作，以保持警觉和活力。当意识忽略了更深层次发出的冲击信号时，并不意味着意识处于控制之中。黑暗的力量会很快接管并打破局面（在我们现代生活方式中经常以不恰当的方式）。

在这种情况下，一个人实际上是他自己情感的奴隶。他的情绪不会被意识所引导，也不会软化，而是朝着每个方向自由飞溅。这样做的时候，他的大脑真的在疑惑：最好的部分是什么？为什么每个人都在生我的气？他们有什么问题？

One is extremely moody because he is NOT emotional

Have you ever asked yourself this question: why some of the moodiest people believe firmly that they are perfectly rational? Why your borderline lunatic relative could come back to you as nothing has happened after they’ve bashed you very inappropriately like an exploding volcano a couple of days before?

It is also quite shocking for me to witness this sometime ago at work. It was an eye opener to watch one of my ex-colleague abuse a client on the phone, then spontaneously go to her supervisor to protest that she got abused by the client with a firm belief that she holds the truth.

To understand the reason behind these absurd scenes, we shall analyze the structure in human psyche which is responsible for this craziness. There’re 3 concepts that are constantly at work in our psyche: conscious (the self), emotions (outbursts of unconscious), and mood (usual reaction). They look a lot more complicated than they really are, but they are simple concepts. Let me discuss each one in a very brief manner.

For each person, there’s consciousness or self. It is a unit that can both perceive the existence of itself (inward) and what’s happening around itself (outside). It is the word “I” in any sentence we pronounce. For example, I am well; I see light. So, you can see, consciousness is thus the cradle for logic and reason. Then, there’s a dark world of unconsciousness in the human psyche that we are rid of direct access. It is there thanks to millions of years of evaluation to cope with the survival needs of our ancestors. Our emotions, which are a crucial part of our survival mechanisms, are signals from our unconsciousness to the self. The form of this communication is tangible: rushing heart-beats, climbing body temperature, sweating, tightened stomach, as well as loosen muscles, lower blood-pressure, or that itchy feeling in one’s chest right before you reach out for the thing you dreamt about for a long time. These tangible corporal signals we experience each day in life are our emotions. They don’t convey any intellectual meaning by themselves directly, and they are very personal.

Then there comes the third concept which is different than the previous two, the mood. The biggest difference is that mood is at the same time personal and social. The concept is still simple: the usual reaction of the self (consciousness) to the signals of unconsciousness (emptions). Most importantly, it CAN be perceived by other consciousnesses around the subject. Yeah, this is where it gets interesting. Someone’s mood can be actively and passively perceived by other people quite effectively. That is why we say that mood is contagious.

Now, it is clearer for us to see that the concept of someone being emotional has nothing to do with mood. Being emotional simply means that the consciousness of the person is accepting and welcoming his emotions. These signals from the dark side are taken assertively, treated with care and processed by intelligence constantly. In other word, an emotional person has a strong bridge between his consciousness and unconsciousness.

On the contrary, for a person who is not emotional at all, his unconsciousness is probably cut off from his self-awareness. The signals of the dark ocean come and receive no attention from the consciousness at all, let alone proper treatment. The problem is obvious in this case.

After millions of years of evolution, our unconsciousness is extremely strong, they are at work 24/7 to keep us alert and alive. When the consciousness is ignoring the flushing signals sent by the deeper level, it does NOT mean that the consciousness is in control. The dark force would quickly take over and smash the situation (quite often with inappropriate manner in our modern way of life). An individual in this situation is actually a slave of his own emotions. His mood would not be channeled nor softened by the consciousness but splashes freely towards every direction at sight. And the best part? While doing so, his brain is wondering genuinely: why is everyone mad at me? What are their problem?

情绪管理十二讲LéoParis –巴黎雷欧 目录

（中文译本未经巴黎雷欧审阅）

第一讲轻松成功，有秘诀吗？

第二讲给你的“自律”放个假

第三讲决策，可能是伪装的逃避

第四讲成功的关键在于效率

第五讲毒性人格，为何不能正常诠释

第六讲情感脱节，一个危险的症状

第七讲情绪化，恰恰是因为缺乏感性

第八讲强烈感觉与自我意识

第九讲治愈厌倦，参与周围的环境

第十讲不要让你喜欢的东西杀死你

第十一讲社交障碍治疗——消除隔离

第十二讲乐趣和成功之间的差距

Paris gold Key巴黎金钥匙

Léo Paris

Catalog

Key to success with ease

Give your poor self-discipline a break

Decision-making, a highly disguised escape

Key to successwith efficiency

Toxic personality, why some people are impossible to reason with

Disconnected of one’s emotion, the real symptoms

One is extremely moody because he is NOT emotional

Open mindedness and self-awareness

Cure to boredom, engage the environment around you

DON’T find something that you love and let it kill you

Social accessibility, one major cure for social isolation

The gap between having fun and being successful

巴黎雷欧：GLC（Galerie Leo et Co）创始人，著有《国际谈判哲学》（法文版）《国际谈判实务》（华文版，多家考研机构参考书）《跨国公司内部谈判效益论析》（法文版）《法国现代书画艺术评论》（英文版3 卷）《远东文化艺术》（法文&华文）《情绪管理十二讲》（英文版&华文版）和《雷欧带你认识法国》（英文版）《雷欧带你认识巴黎》（英文版）等书籍（学习微：LeorenFR）。

巴黎雷欧投资研报03：（欧盟20万至50万欧元支持计划）

法国提供实用的研发投资税收减免：健康、制药、绿色科技、农业科技、数字科技等，特别是生物科技及可持续发展技术领域。

法国政府还设有特别基金支持外国投资者的创新和初创合作。法国政府通过简化行政程序和提供法律及财务咨询服务，吸引和支持外国投资者。