《脱口秀大会》上的“妈宝男”吐槽火了！什么是妈宝男，研究称……

“一个成年人，总是把妈妈挂在嘴边。是不是他妈妈天天对他说：孩子，以后在外面，提我，好使。”

鸟鸟在《脱口秀大会》上对“妈宝男”（Mommy’s boy）的调侃，曾引起全网热议。

鸟鸟说：“几乎每个妈宝男，都有一个强势的母亲，和一个缺席的父亲。明明爸爸也有责任，为什么要叫他妈宝男，不叫他爸废男，如果爸爸特别废，还可以叫他爸废特。”

不少网友认为这样的调侃不只是好笑的谐音梗，更是因为其揭露了许多人都深有感触的一种社会现象。

When Chinese standup comic Niao Niao appeared as a contestant on the popular online comedy show Rock & Roast, she drew plenty of laughs for her views on a “mommy’s boy”, amusing the audience with her disarming sincerity on the issue. “How does a man who constantly talks about his mother all day long come to exist? Is it because his mother tells him it will help him if he mentions her more often in the future?” she said. Niao Niao, who uses a stage name, later suggested that almost every mommy’s boy has a dominant mother but an “absent father”.

“妈宝男”是一个经常出现在人们视野里的现象。

在这种关系里，孩子非常听母亲的话，什么都要问母亲的意见，在本该自力更生的年龄，对母亲产生不健康的依赖。

"Mommy's boy" refers to a man raised by a doting mother, who has an unhealthy dependence on her at an age when he is expected to be self-reliant.

近期一项研究，通过对社交媒体内容进行分析，不只对“妈宝男”现象，还对一个新的社交网络用语“男宝”，做出了回应。

什么是“男宝”？

两位来自澳大利亚科廷大学的教育研究学者，对2022年4月至6月间43篇带有“男宝”标签的社交媒体内容进行分析，指出“男宝”一词，以一种轻松的方式，将男性描述为在就业和生育不平等情况下具有优势的群体，改变了两性看待彼此的方式。

A new report by two scholars looks at 43 posts on Chinese social media from April to June last year that included the words “baby man”.

论文截图

The scholars, Chen Yifan and Gong Qian, social scientists from Curtin University in Perth, Australia, feel that the term "baby man", or "nan bao" in Chinese, which refers to men behaving like babies, is extensively used on social media. Used in a light-hearted manner, "baby man" changes the way in which the two sexes view each other, as it describes men spoiled by employment opportunities, and reproductive priorities in modern Chinese society. The scholars said this light-hearted approach is a deliberate attempt to address gender inequality.

研究人员称，“男宝”一词并不指具体婚姻状况，而是泛指男性群体中，以自我为中心受到社会宠爱的成年人。

They said the term "baby man" is not limited to a specific marital status. Instead, it depicts men in general as self-centered adults demanding constant pampering and attention from society.

澳大利亚科廷大学人文学院教育系教授宫倩表示，“男宝”一词的使用关注更多的是男性在社会中所占据的一种优势。

她指出，在社交媒体上发布这些内容的用户，主要是对性别问题比较敏感的女性。“她们的自我意识和独立性非常强，因此会有自己的想法去讨论。”

Gong, co-author of the report and a senior lecturer in education at Curtin University, said the term is being used in a concerted effort to raise awareness about the inherent advantages men have in society. “The group that posted the content on social media — predominantly female and deeply attuned to gender issues — has likely experienced gender inequality firsthand during education or in their personal lives. Their self-awareness and independence are very strong, and they want to discuss certain topics by using this type of language,” she said.

绘图：中国日报 陆平

“妈宝男”作为社会普遍现象，同样引起关注。一项中青报2017年对2002名受访者进行的调查显示，61%的受访者表示身边有妈宝男，66.5%受访者认为造成这种现象的原因是家庭过于溺爱。

In 2017, a survey by China Youth Daily found that 61 percent of 2,002 respondents said there was a "mommy's boy" who is close to them, while 66.5 percent of the interviewees said that such boys develop this trait due to excessive parental dotage.

为此，香港中文大学教育心理学系副教授伍斐然表示，“妈宝男”是母子间一种不健康的依赖，没有合适的边界。其他关系中相似的依赖性也可用于参考。

“In clinical psychology, a mommy’s boy is viewed as an unhealthy dependence between two people, which betrays their humanity,” said Florrie Fei-Yin Ng, associate professor at the Chinese University of Hong Kong’s educational psychology department. “When a mother and her son are apart, they are unable to function independently, as they have become too close and the boundaries of their relationship have not been properly defined.” Ng added that this kind of dependence could also be present in other relationships such as that between husband and wife, or in other romantic situations.

原生家庭的影响

“妈宝男”的形成与原生家庭有很大关系。

伍斐然提到，大多数情况下，这反映了父母的一个心理状态。她表示，基本上这个孩子成为了母亲的整个世界。很多时候是这个妈妈的世界里面没有其他好的东西让她抓紧，婚姻关系、朋友、工作，或者婆媳关系都不太让她满意。

对母亲来讲，她对世界的希望就放在这个孩子身上，可能这个孩子是她开心的全部，她就一直很保护他，也会尽量帮孩子安排一切，基本上是在操控小孩。如果孩子不反抗，就会成为“妈宝男”。他慢慢习惯懒惰，说我妈妈都安排好了，就听妈妈的话。

“Often, a mother may not have anyone else in her world. She may have an unsatisfactory marriage or have no friends. She may not have a job, or if she has one, she could be unhappy with it. She may also have a bad relationship with her mother-in-law,” she said. “The mother’s entire world revolves around her son, who is everything to her. She holds him tightly to protect him and arranges everything for him. She basically wants to control him, telling him what he can and cannot do. The son, who doesn’t rebel, gradually becomes a mommy's boy accustomed to laziness and simply following his mother’s instructions.”

此外，这样的网络热梗其实还反映了男女在家庭、社会分工中的不同所造成的影响。

伍斐然表示，理想情况下父母双方都应对孩子产生影响。但在“妈宝男”的家庭中，父亲的影响力会减弱。“妈宝男”未来的生活很可能会以不健康的方式发展，让母亲主导。“这样的关系里不太可能会有真正的快乐存在。”

Ng added that ideally both parents should have an influence on their children. But the father’s influence lessens in a family where there is a mommy’s boy. This is unhealthy, particularly when the boy needs a role model. Without a father to guide him, a mommy’s boy may develop in an unhealthy way, with the mother dominating his life. “Such people are unlikely to find true happiness,” she said.

记者：辛闻