渐渐入秋了，秋意凉爽也伴随着暖阳高照。
今天，给大家带来些精彩的中英文神回复，内容遍及知乎、微博、Buzzfeed 等等，一起来看看。
01
中国哪里的姑娘最漂亮？
Where can you find the most beautiful girls in China?
“
微信朋友圈
WeChat Moments
”
02
请给出一句很有内涵的诗句
Please name a thought-provoking sentence from a poem.
“
一懒众衫小
Once lazy, all your clothes get smaller.
”
03
如何理解“穷不是一种状态”？
What s the meaning of poverty is not a certain situation ?
“
穷是一种常态
It s the common situation.
”
04
问世上不会游泳的动物是？
What animals on earth can not swim?
“
媳妇和妈
Your wife and your mother.
”
05
如果被车撞飞10米远，
爬起来之后说什么最帅？
What is the coolest thing to say after you got hit by a car and managed to stand up again?
“
下一辆
Next!
”
06妈，我是你的什么？
Mother, what am I to you?
“
妈的智障
My karma.
”
07
为什么前女友还会一直关注我呢？
What could be the reason that my ex still follows me on social networks?
“
知道你过得不好我也就放心了
Knowing that you still mess everything up makes my day.
”
08
为什么打群架的时候
普遍会脱掉上衣？
Why do people usually take off their clothes when starting a gang fight?
“
假如脱掉裤子的话
总觉得有哪里不对，气氛怪怪的
Because it would be weird to take off your pants.
”
09
怎么反驳“你行你上啊”的逻辑？
How should I respond to You can you up ?
“
我评论个鸡蛋不好吃，还得自己下个蛋啊？
So I need to lay an egg to criticize an egg s flavor?
”
10
如何一个月减肥40斤？
By what means can I lose 20 kilograms in a month?
“
截肢
Amputation.
”
11
怎样含蓄地表达
「我已经被收买了」
How can I subtly suggest that I ve been compromised?
“
我说句公道话……
Let me say this impartially...
”
12
为什么你长痘痘？
Why do you have pimples?
“
因为我可爱得冒泡
Because I m just bubble-bubbly cute.
”
13
打雷的时候关窗户有用吗？
Does it work to close the window when it s thundering outside?
“
没用的，我试过了
关了窗雷一样在打
No, it won t. I ve tried.
It was still thundering outside after I closed the window.
”
14
你见过哪些概率极小极小的事件？
What extremly-small-probability event have you witnessed?
“
20道完形填空，全错
Done a cloze test of 20 questions
with 0 answer right.
”
15
妹子还书的时候夹了一张面巾纸
什么意思？
What does a girl mean when she return your book but with a facial tissue in it?
“
说明你对人家有意思
This means you are paying extra attention to her.
”
16
两千元人民币，想出国穷游
可以去哪些国家？
To which country can I do a budget travel with 2,000 RMB?
“
秦鲁齐蜀韩郑魏楚赵燕吴等等...
For example,
all the ancient countries that used to be China.
”
17
想养一只鹦鹉
教它说一些什么话好？
I wanna keep a parrot as pet. What would be cool to teach it to say?
“
救命，我被变成鹦鹉了！
Help!
They ve turned me into a parrot!
”
18
呆萌和脑残的界限是？
What is the boundry between clumsy and stupid ?
“
和
the and
”
19
为什么女生有体香，而男生没有？
Why do women give out sweet scent but men don t?
“
化妆品腌入味了
The makeup is fermenting.
”
20
男生说什么话
女生会觉得很大气？
What would be manly for a man to say in front of a girl?
“
买
I ll pay.
”
21
热恋是一种怎样的体验？
How does it feel to love somebody insanely?
“
两个长得像猪一样的人
还怕对方被抢走了。。
Two people who are on no aspect attractive worry about each other being stolen by someone else.
”
22
有什么赞扬让你比较尴尬？
Is there any compliment that makes you awkward?
“
人不可貌相啊
We really cannot judge a book by its cover, can we?
”
23
你怎么一个人逛街啊？
Why are you shopping all by yourself?
“
半个人逛街我怕吓着你
I fear it would scare you to death if I were shopping all by no one.
”
24
单身两年以上是什么体验？
How does it feel to be single for more than 2 years?
“
单身22年
不知道你说的是哪两年？
I ve been single for 22 years.
Which 2 years are you suggesting?
”
25
地球外面那一层叫什么？
How do you call the outside layer of Earth?
“
香飘飘奶茶
Xiang Piao Piao milk tea.
”
26
要是在古代
姐的颜值能撑起整个青楼
Back in the ancient times, a face like mine can hold a whole brothel.
“
你是说你长得像柱子吗？
You mean you look like a pillar?
”
27
很高兴为你服务
I m glad to be at your service.
“
你高兴得太早了
You ll find out you got glad too fast.
”
28
北冥有鱼，其名为鲲
Once in the northern sea, there was a fish and people called it Kun.
“
众人食之，完
And people ate it.
The end.
”
29
妈，我能看电视吗？
Mom, can I watch the television?
“
当然可以啊，只要不打开就行
Of course you can, as long as it s turned off.
”
30
你得揣摩出题人的意图
You need to understand why they set this question in the first place.
“
他想我死
They want me dead.
”
31
你知道吗？你最终会变成你讨厌的人
You know what? You eventually become someone you loathe.
“
借你吉言，我讨厌有钱人
Thanks, I loathe people who are rich.
”
32
国庆去北京旅游有什么好建议吗？
Gonna be traveling in Beijing during the National Day vacation. Any suggestion?
“
别去
Don t go.
”
33
等我瘦了就回来找你
I ll come back for you when I get slim.
“
如果你不想见我，其实可以直说
You can level with me if you don t want to see me.
”
34
有史以来最伟大的虚构人物是谁？
Who is the greatest fictional character in history?
“
别人家的小朋友
Someone else s child.
”
35
你看看别人家的男朋友
都是吃女朋友吃剩下的饭！！！
Look at other girls boyfriends. They eat their grilfriends leftover.
“
那你倒是给我剩点啊
Sounds as if you ever left any over.
”
36
为什么秀恩爱通常选择在中午？
Why do people always show off their relationships at noon?
“
因为早晚会有报应
Because sooner or later karma will come to them.
”
37
请用一个词来形容你的男朋友
Please use one word to describe your boyfriend.
“
哪？
Where?
”
38
被人追了怎么拒绝？
How do I successfully reject someone who is pursuing me?
“
接地卸妆
Remove your makeup, right now, right there.
”
39
为了让你好好学习，父母都给过你什么？
What did your parents give you to make you study harder?
“
这张脸
This face.
”
40
参观一个世界奇观时
你最想了解哪些信息？
What do you want to know the most when you visit a World Wonder?
“
这附近有什么好吃的吗？
What can I find to eat around there?
”
41
我要如何才能显得很高冷？
How can I look high-end and cool?
“
搬去喜马拉雅
Move to the Himalayas.
”
42
为什么有的男生追女生追到一半不追了？
Why do some boys give up half-way pursuing a girl?
“
你倒是给个进度条啊
Why don t you display a progress bar?
”
43
为什么在洗完澡之后
有些人会觉得自己变漂亮了？
Why do some people find themselves prettier after they take a shower?
“
脑子进水了
The brain has water damage.
”
— E·N·D —
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